becoming happier

Ever since I heard that name again I became slightly blue whenever I thought about that year. The really naive me and a few Sunday afternoons. I almost forgot every bit of it but the leftover memory was enough to arouse my feelings, driving me melancholy. Somehow I could not really recall what at all really happened and how it ended. This is a bit sad. I thought it meant something to me. It was probably all good and our story just naturally faded away like most other things in life. Yet the me right now is so stubborn about figuring out what I meant in all this. Now I suddenly realise why I felt so blue. Let bygones be bygones. I take things too seriously. Looking for trouble. I'm my own invisible monster.

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I could not enjoy my work fully because I thought too much about becoming the one influential tutor in my students' eyes. I need to care less about it. Stop being so self-conscious. I am my own demanding boss. Intimidating myself so unnecessarily.