W mentioned 'lady fingers' once or twice at home, and the other night again when we were at a birthday dinner. M prepared Tiramisu.
W: Where did you get your lady fingers? The ones I bought were not soft!
M: These ones are from Italy actually! but I think you can get similar ones from TESCO.
They're not lady fingers, they're sponge fingers. And I thought to myself, I've told you they were called sponge fingers, lady finger is veg 秋葵 or okra.
W: Yes I got some from Somerfield but they were not soft.
Me: Because for Tiramisu M first dipped them in espresso and that was why they became soft!
M: Yes! And we use the plain side to dip so that the other sugary side could keep the liquid inside from leaking!
I was somehow still thinking about the names 'sponge finger' and 'lady finger' and the object.
Then yesterday I read parts of a book that S recommended. I read a couple of chapters very quickly online. There was a part about being self-righteous.
From that, I started to reconsider my behaviour. Was that a kind of self-righteousness? Why was I affected by how a thing was called by others?
Maybe I was not. Maybe I interpreted the situation as my advice not being taken and therefore got unnecessarily irritated. Why didn't she take some action to change after I corrected her mistake?
Obviously, that was self-righteousness.
Yet, to think again about it, she did not agree with me, but what was also involved was that I did not think she was right either. Why didn't I think she was right? Was I really so sure she could not be right?
So I checked dictionaries, and found that we were both right.
Like Haidt mentions, my time was spent in vain on unnecessary worries.
PS. An apology to W.