I impressed my piano teacher with my fingers (being kind of long) and she said I have a good touch and my tempo is not bad (to my biggest surprise..) Losing control, missing keys, playing but not making sounds at all, hitting wrong notes.. fine.. Let the notes sing... Should it be repeated or do i want to add variety. Hmm, I decide.
This is probably what I need now: pressure-free lessons. My teacher's really friendly!
So, my most horrid nightmare didn't come true. Last night I dreamed I was in tears and shouting at some music students because they were laughing at me when I played. Too stressful to think about performing in front of others.
After she left, I stayed to practice a bit more, on the grand piano. (Wonder if I can still go back to play those Langwith college old pianos...曾經滄海難為水啊~~) After a few rounds, I tried to let my brain go blank, only my fingers playing on.. (amazingly, they do) until they know it was the right moment to stop. Then a nice surprise.